A few weeks ago when Joe and I returned home from a much-needed break, my first impression of our home (which two of our grown kids had been occupying in our absence) was to pitch everything! Let’s just say that “their” version of clean and “ours” is very different. Seriously. I wanted to throw everything away. It was late, and after a long day on the road we were both exhausted and not in the mood for anything but bed. The house did not “rise up to meet us” as Nate Berkus says is so vehemently important. To bed we went; now tired and grouchy!
We got up early the next day and started cleaning together, as we usually do. Joe went to the kitchen, his favorite room to clean, and I headed to the living room. I started looking at all of the “stuff” that we have accumulated and I just became overwhelmed. We had so much stuff. I just didn’t feel the need to possess some of it anymore, really, most of it. It looked out of place and didn’t feel like “me”. I guess living with the wide-open, outdoor space and salt air did something to me. Looking at the expansiveness of the ocean for all of those days must have done something to my inner being. Perhaps cleared the cobwebs. So I started grabbing things and placing them in a box.
I had no real intention of spring cleaning or purging, but that is exactly what ended up happening. I literally felt a tightness in my body when I looked around and asked myself, “WHY” do I have all of this crap?! GAH! (I wanted to start a BIG OL’ FIRE!) I KNOW you’ve been there!
As soon as I started removing things and putting them in the box I immediately started feeling better. So I put more up. And more. And more. The living room was starting feeling better, so time to move to my office. Objective: Feng Shui that space! Moving my desk to face the door(s) and into the “power” position was my whole intention.
It all started with the chair…as soon as I robbed a chair from the living room, (which I do often…steal from one room and put in another) it was on. I was going to replace it with another one that I had stored in the garage, but Joe liked the space. That “spacious” and “empty” feeling. My first thought was, “and this is exactly why I do this alone…no one to argue with!”
And then I decided to listen. After really hearing the reasoning and the way he wanted the room to feel, I realized that it wasn’t just “MY” room…it was “OUR” room. Not “MY” home, but “OUR” home, and why shouldn’t he have a say in how it looks and feels? So I agreed. I acquiesced. For the first time I can ever remember, I gave up complete “design” control of the house. I mean usually I do all of the rearranging and purging when he’s gone because I just know how it needs to be/should be done… (Sure I do!)
Well as it turns out leaving that space “emptier” than it was before, felt wonderful and I actually LOVED having his opinion and his ideas. Adding more of the masculine and creating a space that we both love and enjoy together, was pretty awesome. And honestly, the open space is starting to grow on me. I think he may be onto something.
And in fact, I am pretty sure that all of the “STUFF” and the crammed in feel of it all is certainly connected to all the other issues… like weight, and food and not wanting to feel “empty”. I would venture to say that I know it is. It’s something to think about, meditate and reflect on. What if getting rid of all the “stuff” actually got rid of all the “other” stuff, too? Hmmmm… I wonder…
So, no need to wait for spring to find out. I am going to start donating and removing from our house and my head, all of the unnecessary things I have held onto for so long. Including limiting beliefs and ideas that no longer serve a purpose in my life.
When I think about all of the beliefs that I have bought into and that others have placed upon me as I grew (and even as an adult) it actually makes me laugh. So many ridiculous notions, I mean really. What I decide to believe and accept NOW is ONLY what feels right to me. It doesn’t matter if anyone else believes what I believe or not. It doesn’t make it anymore or any less true, for me. Question everything. And LISTEN for the answer. YOUR answer.