What a great lesson, and one that Joe & I have recently learned. After brainstorming ideas [for two full days] on how to grow our online business, Joe, thank God, woke up on the third day with the clarity we were looking for:
“I don’t want to do this. If we move forward with this plan we’ll be completely tied down. We will not be able to travel and live our life with FREEDOM. We’ll be stuck here, married to the shop and shipping orders 24/7. I don’t want that and I don’t want to hire anyone else to do it for us. I want our life to be as simple and as FUN as possible. I want to enjoy life.” BINGO! He knew exactly how he wanted to feel!
This is one of the things that I LOVE about him! It doesn’t matter that the “experts” say you should be building online and doing this or doing that. If it isn’t what he wants to do, then he doesn’t do it. Period. He will listen and entertain the idea, briefly, and then he’ll decide if it’s right for him. He KNOWS that “he” is his own expert. Another great lesson that he’s taught me. If it’s not his thing he has no problem letting it go.
But I know he had to be a little hesitant to share his “let’s just scrap it” thought with me, since for the past two days we had done nothing but work out exactly how we would execute “said plan”. But I’m so glad he did!!
AWESOME, I said… now we start over. But this time let’s work backwards. Let’s decide where we wanna be in the next three years, how we want our life to look & feel and go from there. And so we did. We took turns asking each other questions and getting really clear on what it was we wanted the most, and then…we sat down and wrote out our new plan:
- more fun
- more travel
- more adventure
- more camping
- more fishing
- more nights with friends
- more home-cooked meals and on and on…
Sitting down with pen and paper and deciding on a course of action together, expanded me. I literally felt the joy and relief rising inside. I realize now how simple it can all be if we don’t complicate it. Joe’s willingness to admit- after two days of master minding- that this wasn’t what he wanted, was the game changer. It freed up so much energy, giving us the power to LET IT GO – for now. It’s a great idea but the timing isn’t right. We still have all of the notes and can revisit/change our minds anytime we want, but for now, it’s a no. We’ll always have an online store, but we won’t be working on expanding it…yet.
Our focus NOW is on having as much FUN as possible. Living simply. Not being tied down. Soulful, self-discovery. FREE-SPIRIT JUNKIES!!
And now we have more time to focus on doing the things we want to do, like canoe. We realized on our last trip to MI that we could have a lot more fun when we camp if we had our own canoe to maneuver the lakes and streams that Joe likes to fish. We even bought and installed a canoe rack so when we do find the “perfect one” we’re ready to haul it away. I have visions of canoeing everywhere! I might even start fishing!!
Since I’ve cleaned up my act and gotten clear on what I want- I know like I’ve never known before- I am finding it easier to say YES & NO! For example: I started taking a high intensity exercise class that I LOATHE, so it’s an easy… HELL-NO! Yoga? YES. I LOVE yoga. Kettle bells? YES. I LOVE KB’s. Fitness hoops? YES. I LOVE them! Battle ropes? YES. I LOVE them too! I have a whole area at home dedicated to movement that I enjoy; I am not going to spend my precious time doing something I hate to do. Not anymore.
Having clarity in my (our) life is exactly where I (we) want to stay. The point is to know how you want to feel…FOR REAL! Then set your goals based on THAT. Which is EXACTLY what I teach in my workshops (proof positive that we teach what we need to learn, ourselves.) I know if it doesn’t support how I want to feel, it’s a NO. I am only saying yes to things that I want to do. Life just got a whole lot easier!
As with everything it takes time, commitment to the process, and doing it over and over again…until you get it right. All failure is feedback. (What was the lesson?) We’ll for sure keep tweaking our plan; adding or taking away whatever we need to in order to achieve our goals. We will also continue to stay in alignment with how we want to feel, because ultimately that’s what we’re looking for with any goal we set…the feeling it’s going to give us in the end.
Blessings! And feel GOOD!
Are you in alignment with how you want to feel? How has this worked for you? I would love to hear about it in the comments below.